I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
