I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
