She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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