PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
