i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
