You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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