i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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