you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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