I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
