saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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