so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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