whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
