I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize