He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
