how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
