My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
