Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
where are you?
Hypothermia
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
