i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
