You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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