Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pappa wants mamma naked
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
