You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
