Small penises have feelings too.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm having to shit out rocks
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
