as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
