If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
