glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
