she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
