She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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