I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
