I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
