I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
