This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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