I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
