I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
