he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
