i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
