i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
