She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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