Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
