We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
