They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
