okay pat passed out under dana's car
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
