It's just like the Real World with babies
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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