Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
