you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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