DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
