'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize