i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
