Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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