if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
