he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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