and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
FUCK WHALES
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