so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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