It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
