I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
