Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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