did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
