Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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