This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
