So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
