You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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