She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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