i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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